News From Browntown

Math Class Report

Okay, here goes... it defeated me thirty years ago but it will not defeat me again ... I will get through it this time ... if I can get through childbirth and child rearing, I can get through 16 weeks of three-hour, once-a-week math classes ... that is 48+ hours out of my life devoted to math at this point in my life?! AAAAAAARRGHH! As my ODU friend said last night - "Where's the justice??"

Anyway here is what happened...

I got caught at a railroad crossing for nearly 25 minutes and so was 10 minutes late arriving to LFCC and the class was already well underway. The very small classroom was very full with only one seat left which was inches away from the blackboard and under the teacher's nose. Since class had started and the seat was up front I decided to wait just outside the door and eavesdrop on the instruction until the class break. My plan was to slip in during break and get situated (I was loaded down with large purse and even larger bookbag with the very heavy and very expensive Math book in it) in a seat somewhere not in the instructor's lap.

A full hour and a half later I was still standing in the hall by the door (remember elementary school punishment?) with back breaking, sweating in the stifling hallway and my eavesdropping plan pretty much foiled by loud students in the hallway who had decided to use the area for socializing.

Finally the classroom emptied when students went on break and I went in to find the instructor was... you won't believe it!!... Mr. Atkins the Physics teacher from Warren Co. High! He taught Emma and Jaime!!

He was very nice and told me not to worry about being late and pointed out the remaining seat under his nose. I mumbled something about not being able to see up close and sort of waved my glasses around and he pointed out a seat in the middle of the room between two large young men. I squeezed myself and my very expensive math book between them and got situated. Off we go!!

The remainder of the class was math which, unfortunately for me, has not changed a bit!! It is still ridiculous with a + b = c and other such nonsense. My victory strategy this time around is to memorize whatever I need to memorize, even if it means memorizing whole chapters at a time, and hope that there is no actual "understanding of the process" required.

The young man sitting to my right kept his head bowed (well, sort of bowed or hanging, not sure which) and his eyes closed the entire class ... I am assuming from that posture that he rejects "understanding of the process" as well and that his strategy for success in math involves deep prayer of some sort. If my memorization strategy falls short and needs a boost I may have to get in on his plan somehow.

As I recall from the days of mothering WCHS students and attending parent-teacher conferences, Mr. Atkins is very sympathetic to those who put forth some effort and so I will shamelessly exploit that chink in the "teacher armor" as part of my battle plan as well. I will take any and every opportunity to ask for help or extra credit.

After class as the remaining few of us packed up in a dazed and confused state, Mr. Atkins was quite chatty and said (exact quote here), "I guess this might be new to you, Mrs. Iden. Us old-timers did not have 'sets' in math when we were learning this in school." With nary a flinch at his "old-timer" reference, I jumped right on that opportunity for a sympathy vote and chirped, "It sure is different now, Mr. Atkins. In fact, math defeated me forty years ago and that's why I am back here now at this late date in my life!" Can you tell how far I have sunk to the absolute depths with no pride and no shame in getting through this course at this point? Pretty disgusting to play the "poor little ol' me" tune but if that's what it takes...

So...my victory strategy is basically a three-pronged approach of 1) memorizing the text to get through tests, 2) badgering for extra credit, 3) sucking up/appearing pathetic ...

Also keeping Mike Natrella's telephone number close at hand.

Hey, it may be weak but it beats the strategy for victory in Iraq!